Did you know that we all have a remote control within us?
When I heard this concept for the first time, the visual image of the remote control and how we use it to maneuver the TV came to my mind. It was that visual image that gave me a lot of aha moments. So I’d like to share it with you.
We all have a remote control within us that allows us to press the following buttons: pause, end, fast forward, rewind, stop, start, increase and decrease volumes, or press mute.
It is an important tool, but yet we often forget about it, and the knob of the remote remains stuck in one volume or one button for too long.
Reminding ourselves of this remote control is essential, as it gives us autonomy and prevents us from being victims of circumstances.
What do you mean by remote control?
By remote control, I mean we have agency and control over our lives and how we want to live them. We are the authors and architects of our lives and do not always need someone else to be our guide, inspiration, or crutch. We can make decisions and trust ourselves to do what is right. We also know what’s best for us in most situations and can trust ourselves to know what’s best for us.
Using the remote control is helpful when we feel stuck and like we have no options
How does our remote control work
We can press the end or pause button of our remote control if something is not working for us or if we are too overwhelmed to make decisions. It could be a friendship/relationship/toxic work situation.
By pressing the pause button or end button of our remote control, we can take that time to assess how much we want to acquaint ourselves with such types of behaviors or environments and take corrective measures without making any knee-jerk decisions.
If it is too much for us, we can press the end button to give ourselves time to recuperate or recover from such environments.
In conversations where we are afraid to say no — pressing the pause button could be saying — I’d need more time to make that decision or I will get back to you after I’ve had time to think it through.
Stopping or pausing doesn’t mean that we cannot come back from the break, have to start again from scratch, or have lost an opportunity.
We view stopping or pausing something as the end of something and that there is no coming back from it. So many of us hesitate to press those buttons because we fear endings, being on our own, or taking responsibility for our lives and actions.
After a break or a pause from something or a situation, we can press the start button again and start things afresh with a clean slate.
We can press fast forward to move/skip past something we know well enough and start from where we left off. In conversations, fast-forwarding could mean saying — circling back to where we left off on topic X . It could also mean being honest enough to tell someone that you were unsure, had doubts, needed time, and now have clarity and are ready for the opportunity.
When we press a pause or end button and go back at a later time, we may find the option no longer exists, but that’s okay. Standing up for ourselves and giving ourselves the time we deserve is good for our nervous system and improves our sense of self. New opportunities or better opportunities will always come along.
In some cases, we may notice that people are not used to our change in behavior, the new us, and we could give them time to adjust. It means allowing them to press their pause button to adjust to us.
They, too, may press the end button on us — and that’s okay, too. They, too, have access to it, and if it is meant to be, it will happen. It doesn’t mean that we have to bend ourselves into knots. It means it is time to press another channel on our remote control if required. It could mean looking at other options and investing in other things that nourish and bring us up. It’ll help ease the pain and help us channel our energies into more fruitful work.
Like the remote control, sometimes we may have access to change our minds. But sometimes we don’t. When we don’t, we can let go of all the pain, hurt, anger, and regret and move on to something that needs our attention. (Another channel or show)
Sometimes, an end button means the end of something. Sometimes, we need a clean break or ending because transformation usually means the end of something to transform it into something new, a growth of a new kind. We find it difficult to end things because endings are hard and scary. But they are part of life’s natural process and it teaches us acceptance.
No fixed volume and knob works ideal for all points of time, for the rest of our life. We must keep trying all the buttons to know what best works for us and is in our best interest.
We can also rewind if we have forgotten something and need a quick reminder of how we left things. We can also decrease the volume of something if we need a break from something.
Often we forget that we have this remote control within us- and find ourselves stuck in one volume for too long or pressed on one knob for too long that we’ve forgotten that we can easily switch the buttons to the ones that serve and help us better.
Journaling is a tool where we press the pause button of our lives- to take a break, take stock of the situation, recharge, revitalize, or take a step back and see things differently.
It helps us get clarity on what’s important to us and why. It tells us in which areas we need to step on the gas and in which areas we need to take a back seat. It makes us aware of what activities, areas, or relationships are draining us and have no value in our lives and others, and we need to pause for a bit. It points to us which relationships and things need nurturing and more investment. It teaches us what is serving us and what we need to let go of. It gives us insight into the question -Is it worth holding on to certain things and situations, or is it time to let go?
We need this tool to steer our lives in the right direction and to ensure that we use our time, energy, and resources in a way that fulfills us and helps us serve ourselves and humanity.
What knob of the remote control are you using too much?
Thanks for reading
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Journaling can help with getting unstuck. Click here for Journaling with Intention — an online course that teaches you Journaling Practices to clarify your desires and vision, navigate areas you are stuck in, and create the life that you want.